Am I Still Here
by Ashy4
Summary: First Person Narrative. Exotica wishes someone would take her to the Jellicle ball, or at least talk to her. Is that so hard to ask?


It's nice out today. The broken shards of glass and the twisted rusted metal gleams in the bright yellow sun's rays. I sit here upon an old comfy chair a human had thrown away, absorbed in my own little world that are filled with the fantasies I yearn to have in real life. Fantasies, about someone just talking to me. Making me feel like I am not just a shadow that lurks around the Junkyard, who is only good for being asked how they looked for their next date, or where Demeter or Bombalurina were. I just want them to talk to me, knowing that I am still present here, and not invisible in their eyes.

They all think that I am quiet because I'm shy. That isn't true at all. I am quiet because I have no one to talk to. I can be quite social, and I have a sense of humor like every other queen, but every time I try to talk to one of the toms, they leave me behind to go after another queen. that, I think is what hurts me the most. I feel so lonesome, and out of place when they do that. It makes me feel as if I don't belong here. But I stay, always, thinking that maybe if I did, there would still be a chance of one of them noticing me. I always carry that little light of hope.

"Hey Exotica,"

I turn, seeing Alonzo standing there. I smile at him. Maybe he has come to talk to me, for once. That light of hope shines a little brighter, only to be dimmed, as I am proven wrong.

"Have you seen Cassandra anywhere's. You know that ball is coming up soon, and I want to ask her to go with me, before someone else asks her first."

"Oh… Of, course. I believe she's over talking to Bombalurina by the old oven."

He smiles, and thanks me before running off. He usually does so. I sigh returning back to my secluded thoughts. Maybe I shouldn't go to the ball this year. It's not like they would notice that I wasn't there. But maybe I should go. Perhaps I would be chosen to be reborn, and I wouldn't have to feel like I am just and invisible feline anymore.

Still. I wish I didn't always have to go alone. For once I would like to be asked to go to the ball, instead of always going on my own. I wouldn't care if it were a tom like Munkustrap or Asparagus, or even a kitten like Tumblebrutus or Pouncival. I just want to go with someone.

"Hey, there you are,"

My thoughts are, again, broken by the voice of another tom. I look up just as he places his leopard spotted paw around my shoulders.

"I've been looking all over for you," Tugger continued. "I need to ask you something."

"You want to know if I've seen Bombalurina lately?" I immediately assumed. He acted the same way, only wanting to know where she was.

"No. Not that," He shook his head. "You don't have a date for the ball yet do you?"

Did I have a date yet? Ever since I was a kitten, I have never had a date to the ball. "No. Why do you ask?"

"Well you see. I was kinda wonderin'. Would you like to go to the ball with me?"

My world stopped, as I stared at him. Had The Rum Tum Tugger just asked me to go to the ball with him? For the first time in my life, I feel important, and visible. I can't help but smile at him nodding. "I'd be honored to…"

"Great," He smiled placing a kiss on my cheek. "I pick you up at your den before it starts then."

He places another kiss on my cheek before he gets up to leave. I look after him, my paw on my cheek, the smile still on my face. The Rum Tum Tugger asked me to the ball. I have never been so excited to go to the ball. Soon everyone is going to know that I'm going with him. That he was going to stop by my den, to pick me up before the ball.

I lie back looking up at the sky. The day has gotten so much brighter now. So much that nothing could make it bad. It's amazing how he could make any queen's day better, just by asking a simple question, and by giving her a few kisses on her cheek. Little does he know how much of a difference in my life. Little does he know how much of a bigger difference it will make, when he comes to my den.

Wait... Does he even know where my den is?


End file.
